


Hobbit Drabbles

by mephestopheles



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Threesome, drabble prompts, established relationships - Freeform, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-04 05:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4127166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mephestopheles/pseuds/mephestopheles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hobbit Drabbles I've been prompted from Tumblr and other various places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Index

**Author's Note:**

> This is a catchall for the small pieces in the hobbit fandom that will probably never go much farther than a drabble or two. Some of them are in the same verse, others are obviously from different verses. Tags will update with each addition, first chapter will be an index. 
> 
> These are an attempt at brevity, and not some multi-chapter epic. They're going to vary in tone from light and silly to angsty, but I will make sure the tags reflect it and I will warn per chapter. For now, enjoy.

 

 

**Table of Contents**

  1. [Driving Lessons](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4127166/chapters/9303826) (Dwagginshield) 
  2. [The Tux](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4127166/chapters/9304015) (Bagginshield)
  3. [Dance with Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4127166/chapters/10705142) (Bagginshield)




	2. Driving Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Thorin teaches Bilbo how to drive, it doesn't go so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> silliness, utter silliness.

“STOP YELLING AT ME!”

“I AM NOT YELLING AT YOU. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!”

“YOU ARE YELLING AND HOW CAN I KEEP MY EYES ON THE ROAD WHEN YOU’RE YELLING. AT. ME?”

“FOR GOD SAKE BILBO! PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!”

“THIS IS A PARKING LOT, THORIN! THERE ARE NO CARS AROUND AND I AM NOT GOING TO HIT ANYTHING. STOP YELLING!”

“YOU’RE NOT EVEN TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY!”

“THAT’S IT!”

The car lurched to a halt as Bilbo slammed on the break. He unbuckled his belt and turned the car off and tossed the keys into Thorin’s lap. “I’m done.”

“Bilbo!”

“NO!”

Bilbo got out of the car and slammed the front door. The empty parking lot echoed with the sound and the streetlights chose that moment to flicker on as if in response.

“You are a horrible, awful, terrible, teacher Thorin Durin. I’ll have you know! I am not an idiot! And I will not get in a car with you ever again!”

“Trouble in paradise?” Dwalin drawled as he walked up to meet the shorter and far angrier gentleman. Bilbo shot him a dark look and adjusted his shirt and jacket with a ‘humph’. “I see. Perhaps you two should talk?”

“He’s your boyfriend. You talk to him.”

“Last I checked, he’s your boyfriend too.”

“NOT TONIGHT!”

“C’mon, Bilbo. Be reasonable,” Thorin said standing by the car. “This isn’t that hard. You’ll get it.”

“Not. One. Word.” Bilbo said. “Horrible!”

He devolved to unintelligible muttering and stormed away, gesticulating wildly. Dwalin had to chew on the inside of his mouth to keep a neutral expression. Tonight was going to be interesting.

“I wasn’t that bad,” Thorin said.

Dwalin could hear the pout in his voice and looked at him side eye. “You know what, I’m going to stay out of this one. For once I’m not involved in an argument.” Dwalin breathed and sighed pleasantly. “It’s a nice change.”

“Traitor.”

“I’m not the one who was screaming.”

“I wasn’t-“

“I could hear the two of you, and you had the windows up.”

“Really?”

Dwalin looked over and noted the sagging shoulders. ‘Crap, so much for not being involved.’ He shook his head and ruffled Thorin’s hair. “Give him another minute to terrify the pigeons, then go over and apologize.”

“He’s not going to want to hear it.”

“He will, if you also say he can get another driving instructor.”

“I’m a good driving instructor!”

“You taught grunts in the army, with Humvees. This our boyfriend, with a Prius. Slightly different context.”

“Ugh, I’m sleeping on the couch tonight, I know it.”

“He’s never been that angry. Prefers cuddling too much.” Dwalin clapped Thorin on the back. “Now, apologize right, we’ll both get make up sex.”

“What happened to not being involved?”

“Oh, I’m not involved in the argument. But I will be involved in the make up sex.”


	3. The Tux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and Thorin get ready for a wedding, adorableness and innuendo ensues

“Thorin, are you almost ready? We’re going to be late.” Bilbo said and adjusted his bow tie in the mirror. He could hear grumbling from the closet and felt a smile tug at his lips. “What was that, I couldn’t hear you?”

“I said, could you help me with these cuff-links. They’re too small and I seem to have developed giant fingers.” Thorin said as he walked into the room.

Bilbo turned around, felt heat suffuse his face, and his tongue and wit abandon him. His husband in a tux was a weapon of mass distraction. The cut of the dark trousers flattered his long legs. The crisp linen shirt was brilliant white and was perfectly tailored to hug his shoulders and arms, and showed off the lovely olive tone of Thorin’s skin. Thorin was busy trying to attach one of the cuff-links and Bilbo could see a disgruntled moue on his sharp features.  

“Here, let me help.” Bilbo said and walked over. He took the gold acorn cuff-links and threaded them through the button holes in the shirt sleeves and snapped them close. He couldn’t stop himself from brushing his fingers up Thorin's forearms and  along his shoulders to adjust the collar, and made a point to brush his fingers along the bare skin of Thorin’s neck.

“Bow tie?” He asked as he met Thorin’s eyes. The heat from his husband’s gaze was enough to leave his mouth dry and he swallowed thickly. “Keep looking at me like that and we’re really going to be late.”

Thorin’s smile was positively wolfish and he leaned closer, his breathe ghosting across Bilbo’s skin. “Would that be such a bad thing?”

Bilbo wobbled on his feet and cleared his throat, trying to put his thoughts in order. “Kili is getting married today.”

“I’m well aware,” Thorin said and slid his hands around Bilbo, tugging him closer. “He wouldn’t mind if we were a little late.”

Bilbo laughed, breathless. “Oh I’m not worried about Kili. He and Tauriel would get a kick out of it. Your sister however? And Thranduil? The last thing you or I need are those two conspiring.”

Thorin narrowed his eye and swooped in for a quick, hard kiss. “Point, husband.” He growled. “Later.”

He slipped from Bilbo’s arms so quickly that Bilbo was left a bit dizzy.

His condition was not helped by Thorin adding the dark satin blue weskit. He tied the bow tie with practiced ease then added the jacket, an entirely too confident smirk on his lips.

Bilbo adjusted his weskit, cleared his throat again and grabbed his jacket off the chair. “Shall we?”

Thorin swooped in again for another kiss. “Mmm, fifteen years and I can still get that look. I wonder what else I can get.”

Bilbo clenched his fists in an effort not to wrinkle their suits further. “P-play your cards right and who knows.” Bilbo managed.


	4. Dance with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Bilbo dancing in the palace garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sappy consort au fluff for Striving-artist. Written on tumblr like the others and uploaded here.

The mountain was saved, with all that entailed, things were finally back to normal. Or what passed for normal when a home had been successfully reclaimed, shored up, and then painstakingly put back together brick by brick. There was life in the mountain again, dwarves from all the other kingdoms swarmed with the advance of spring and took up pick and shovel and helped clear up the debris and ages of dust to bring their home back.

Thorin had been crowned in a ceremony that took place amongst tents, barely able to stand on his own without the aid of another. Those in attendance had stood around him waiting for him find his feet, the dwarrow willing him to show strength in this time – except for Oin who complained loudly enough for everyone. Thranduil and Bard were there as well as Gandalf, all in recognition of his status as king.

One other person was in attendance. A very grumpy and fussy hobbit that yelled and immediately came to his side to shore him up.

“Are you quite mad, is it really necessary for you to stand.”

Thorin tried not to hold onto Bilbo but it was quite impossible with him snugged against his side. “Yes, unfortunately it is,” he managed through pained breaths.

The hobbit huffed, but settled himself more firmly against Thorin’s side. “Well, let’s get on with it. You need your rest so the faster this can be done the better. It’s not like you’re not going to have another one in a few months’ time.”

So there in the tent, with Bilbo at his side, holding him up as surely as he’d done throughout their quest, Thorin accepted the mantle of king.

A year on and everything had changed, of course the mountain was once again thriving, he was busier than he had ever been with meetings and court and all the business being a King entailed. He was lucky to have one to share it with. His hobbit had agreed to stay in the mountain. And he thanked Mahal every day for that gift.

His biggest stroke of luck had been unearthing the central gardens in the palace. It had been unused in his time, long forgotten, an old ancestor had found some joy in plants but it had not passed down, so the garden had wilted and died. Smaug had come and burnt everything to ash.

He and Bilbo had stumbled across it on one of their many walks about the palace, and Thorin had watched how his hobbit’s eyes and lit up at the sight. So he had commissioned it’s cleaning, and under Bilbo’s careful eye the garden was now blossoming again.

Thorin had learned that when Bilbo could not be found in the library or more recently their rooms, he could be found elbow deep in soil, humming away as he tended this flower or that.

That was exactly where he’d found him. A few others were by, tending other plants, some were singing and others were playing music. Bilbo was sitting back enjoying a pipe, his feet covered in bits of soil and greenery. His hands were cleaner but his trousers looked as if he’d been in the muck all afternoon.

Thorin smiled as he walked around the low wall that separated the walk from the tomato plants. He watched his One for several minutes, enjoying the look of him, content in here inside the mountain with him.

“You know it’s not polite to stare.” Bilbo said quietly.

Thorin made a soft noise and held out his hand. “Dance with me.”

“What?” Bilbo asked as he opened one eye. “There’s barely any music.”

Bilbo took his hand anyway and Thorin pulled him close and spun him around in a gentle circle. The sound of a harp and a fiddle filled the distance but Thorin had his own rhythm, neatly sliding into a familiar motion. It wasn’t so much a dance as a comfortable swaying back and forth.

“What has got you in such a mood?” Bilbo asked a smile on his lips and in his eyes.

“The meetings have concluded.”

“Which means the elves are gone. For at least a month.” Bilbo laughed. “Of course, you’re free of their tyranny for a few weeks.”

Thorin smiled and pressed his forehead against Bilbo’s. “It means, I can enjoy some quiet time here with you, in the hopes of not having any earth shattering decisions to be made in the interim. I can just be.”

Bilbo let out a soft laugh. “And this was your first thought? Dancing here?”

“No, my first though involves more privacy than what we currently have. Dancing will have to do until we get back to our rooms.” He slid his hand down to Bilbo’s waist and pulled him closer, pressing the tips of his fingers just into the soft flesh, feeling the gentle curve of his hobbit’s spine.

Bilbo shivered in his arms, and their dance faltered until it was just the barest of gentle swaying. “Silly dwarf.”


End file.
